Hello my wonderful friends and family! Holy moly what a week. This week was just a TOUGH week all around mentally, emotionally, spiritually, the whole show. It was a very long, slow week and one thing after another just seemed to happen. I know that everything happens for a reason, but it can sometimes get tricky to trust in that "someday it will work out and all make sense" part.
Tuesday morning we received an email explaining that the mission had reinstated Covid rules and regulations under the direction of the Alberta health care code. Basically we were told that with Covid cases rising we aren't allowed to be in any homes for now. We also didn't have many lessons set up but God helped us out, and we were able to get a couple lessons set up for next week. Then on Thursday EVERYTHING we had set up cancelled. We also had freezing rain and hail all day. On Friday we were told that we weren't allowed to leave the apartment that day for any reason due to 2 missionaries in the CEM testing positive for Covid in the city. Because of this we had a mandatory Zoom meeting on Saturday with our mission president. He placed us all back into online mode for our missionary efforts for sure during the month of November. We are still able to leave our apartments to get fresh air, go to stores, and get food as long as we wear masks and social distance. I'm grateful we aren't on full lock down mode again, but it is challenging to do everything online.
The week also had some good - it wasn't all bad. God's tender mercies can always be found amidst the struggle. First, when we were messaging some members to set up lessons one told us that she had been in contact with someone we are teaching that we haven't been able to get a hold of for the past couple weeks. The same thing happened in our meeting last night that a different member was also in current contact with them. They told us they are alive and well, and we counted this as a tender mercy in our lives. Second, we met two amazing, wonderful humans at Walmart of all places. Gods children really are everywhere! ;) We are hoping to start teaching one of them this week. He was really interested in our church and wants to come check it out so hopefully he is able to come next week. MIRACLES! We have also been able to work towards our mission goal of three member lessons a day by contacting more of our ward friends for lessons. Some fun things this past week were we got to hold puppies before lock down, a member brought us pizza, and we deep cleaned our apartment!
I want to share a thought that has been racing around in my mind this week. Do you ever feel as though there are a lot of things we need to do as Latter-Day Saints? As members of the church? As disciples of Christ? A couple of the friends we are teaching brought up this concept. They feel we as members are asked to do too much. I found myself pondering this and then applied it to being a missionary. Being a full-time missionary can often be overwhelming. Something that I have learned is that it comes down to 3 simple things. 1 - Love God, 2 - Love others, and 3 - Love yourself. If we do these three things everything will just begin to become a way of life instead of things we have to do. When we continually do the things we are asked to do such as praying, reading our scriptures, following the commandments, sharing the gospel, they just become a natural part of who we are, and who we portray as we love God, others and ourselves. By doing these things our light and example will shine through to others. Others will see something is different about us and that is part of missionary work. I was recently reading through an email a friend sent. She shared a story from her institute class. Someone asked, "how do we know when we are doing enough?" The teacher responded, "that is the wrong question to ask. We should instead be asking if our hearts are all in!" Our efforts will never be completely perfect, but the intention and sincerity behind what we do always matters. That is the beautiful thing about grace. Grace fills in where we fall short. If we can simply just believe, try a little harder everyday to be a little better, then we are doing good, and it is enough.
Lately it has been hard for me to feel that I'm "doing enough" because my numbers don't reflect anything. I have always been happy with what I have been able to give God, but I sometimes let outside pressure get me down. A mission friend shared some thoughts with me. She said that when we get to heaven we aren't going to be asked if we baptized "x" amount of people, but rather we will be asked if we loved each and every person that God placed on our path. Did we do as Christ did and love them as Christ would? Were we a listening ear, a quiet comfort, or a helper? Did we humbly and personally serve those we came in contact with? This thought has brought me a lot of comfort and strength to me keep going because I absolutley love the people I serve.
I just want to bear my testimony of the power of God's love and the power of His hand in our lives. He truly looks out for us and watches over us night and day. He is there to place the people we need at the exact moment we need them. He is there when I hear the words of a song or come across a scripture verse that just hits the right heart spot. I know He is aware of us at all time. We just have to hold on.
I love and miss you all dearly. Go share a smile :))
Love, Sister Merrill
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